I have spent my day walking up and down the high street with a banging headache and raging cold trying to find the ‘perfect outfit’ to wear for my upcoming interview on Monday. The perfect outfit to present myself as professional but natural. Smart but not seeming to try and dress older than my age. Something that I’m comfortable wearing but that taking a back seat to what I think looks the part. Something that I actually like – well that became less important after scanning through 100 different items. I found myself actually googling what I should be looking for. I have been wearing clothes for 22 years but resulted to a search engine to find the most perfect, suitable, comfortable, presentable, natural, not too over the top not too casual outfit. How fucking ridiculous!
The thing is as bizzare as this scenario is it’s one I’ve been in before, will be in again and I’m sure some of you reading can relate to. How crazy is it that we’ve actually gotten to a stage in society where we are so caught up on the rights and wrongs of what we should possibley be doing that we lose ourselves?
Today I put down numerous tops that I liked because will people like me in clothes I like. Is what I like correct, does what I like even matter? Can I have my arms out, can I have my legs out, I’ll need tights, not skin coloured tights though they must be black, I don’t wear heels during the day, but I better get some. Why why why! I opted for covering up my skin and walking like I’ve shat myself, probably buckling my ankle at least twice over wearing what I’m comfortable in even though my clothing should be entirely irrelevant to my knowledge, my skills and my capability at doing the role in interviewing today. And I KNOW this. But will still spend Sunday night trying out different hairstyles as though iv been bald up until now and pasting my face with make up I don’t usually wear, wiping it off and reapplying till my face is a complete rash and my eyes are puffy!
the perfect pressure, the pressure to be perfect, not knowing what perfect is!